I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I want to fling myself into the sun
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
