think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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