is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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