In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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