I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
