Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
