how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
