how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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