naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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