My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
if you like me you must not know who I am
What a fucking waste of an outfit
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
