I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
