I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
