How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
