I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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