I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
