are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
