What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
