We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
