jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
so let's talk penis.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
