??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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