So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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