All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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