dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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