i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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