My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
