So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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