please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
