my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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