You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize