You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
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