I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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