i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
