**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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