Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
