she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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