what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize