We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
