If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
