how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
