"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
