Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize