so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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