you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
