Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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