question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
