Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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