I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
