just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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