you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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