I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
