The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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