so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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