nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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