I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Sext me about skeletons
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize