i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
