Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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