Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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