Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Randomize
