Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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