But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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