Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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