How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
