Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
