Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
