If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
