My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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