the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
